The Journal of Wear: My wardrobe is my way of life
This is the seventh entry of our running monthly series The Journal of Wear, where we document our swappers’ stories and relationships with their wardrobes in a style reminiscent of the 2000s blogging era. In a time of hyper-editorial and polished fashion content, this series centres the humanity of the wearers, captures the nuance of their relationship with their clothing pieces, and highlights how everyday clothes are incorporated into their lives.
I arrived at Hana’s 2-bedroom in Geylang and was greeted by Hana and Haku. “He always stands by the door waiting for anyone to arrive, like my doorman,” Haku has amber eyes, and belongs to Hana’s flatmate. Hana laughs as she introduces the rest of the cat squad—Zend (her first rescue cat), Oishi (her second rescue cat), and Kushi (a friend’s cat she’s cat-sitting).
Hana welcomes me with a donut. “It’s a yellow smiley face,” she smiles as she hands me a dozen donuts for the rest of the TFP team. It reminds me of how she always brings a dozen Dunkin’ Donuts whenever she visits the shop. It’s become a part of her clothes-swapping ritual.
Not only for the sweets, but something tells me I will enjoy today’s conversation with Hana.
Kushi the cat sniffing my bags (and donut)
As I settled down (and took a big bite from my smiley face donut), Hana walked me through her wardrobe—a basic black display rack from IKEA.
L: Hana’s clothes rack on display R: Two of Hana’s favourite purses
“I have OCD* and I am a visual creature, so it has to be very visual-led when displaying my clothes, I [need to] see the pairing.”
[*OCD is short for Obsessive-compulsive Disorder that causes repeated unwanted thoughts or sensations (obsessions). It also can give you an urge to do something over and over again (compulsions).]
She articulates how she organises her display according to the mental system she’s worked out. “This [rack of clothes] is me on the day-to-day. My big bags are here; my gym hat is there. I can wear that with this and this with this. I already know how to go about pairing them together. I can go from home to work, to meet my friends, all from this rack.”
“I cannot, in my life, not have a colour-coded system. My going out and work-from-home clothes are colourful, but my day-to-day activewear clothes are monochrome,” she adds.
I wonder at Hana’s functional yet concise collection of clothes she wears daily. Though small, it encapsulates her need for a practical and professional wardrobe and her desire to dress well for her body type and skin colour—something she’s learnt to do after swapping at The Fashion Pulpit in recent years.
“70% of my clothes are permanent keepers. They have all managed to last very long,” she adds. Hana tells me that she displays the majority of her mainstays on this rack.
“The most recent dress I wore from this rack is this one,” she refers to a striking cobalt blue maxi dress from The Fashion Pulpit. “I wore it with heels and a small purse. It made me look very well put together for a candlelight concert, and the colour matched my skin tone. I received compliments for it.”
Hana holds up a cobalt blue maxi dress (L) and a printed floral dress (R)
As Hana runs me through the other pieces, I notice how there is only one printed dress hanging on the rack, standing out amongst the other mono-colour dresses.
“This is actually from my mum,” she says. “My mum passed away two and a half years ago, and this is a gift she bought for me that I kept, along with some of her earrings and bracelets.”
“I wear them day-to-day because [there is a] lingering attachment, like a precious memory. A lot of people say I look like her. So it’s easing when I look in the mirror, and I see my mum. I wear her jewellery when I want to feel peaceful and confident.”
I take a moment to process the revelation. Standing in her room, I imagine Hana putting on her mum’s dress and jewellery as she prepares to take on the day. Maybe the act of wearing their pieces transforms into a tender embodiment of the longing and remembrance. To continue wearing what would otherwise be tucked away physically, mentally and emotionally, transforms clothes from inanimate objects to garments that hold onto memories.
“This system for my clothes is only something I’ve done in the past three years after I moved home. It helps me be less cluttered in my brain,” Hana remarks.
“A display rack helps me remember their position, so it’s easier to manage. I put red behind the brown, blue with white because I can immediately visualise myself wearing them together. The outerwear is there because I can pair it with anything. I put special event dresses towards the rack's two ends, and I display the prettier dresses at the front (left side of the rack),” she adds.
“If I go to the gym, I open my closet and reach for something. My earrings are just by the room door, so I easily pair them by colour-matching. Green earrings for the green dress, blue earrings for the blue dress. It cannot be too complicated.”
Hana’s jewellery pieces
“It takes a while to have your own system. It may not work for others. I am so familiar with it that even if someone swapped out the hangers for the dresses, I would notice.”
As I look at Hana locate the pieces on her rack with great familiarity, I begin to grasp how well Hana’s formulaic way of organising has served her. It’s become second nature for her.
I ask if she’s always been so sure.
“Working as an engineer, they just need your brain. But as a woman in tech, it’s a different story. I’m the only woman on my team. I enjoy coding, I enjoy solutions, and I am happy to get paid to do what I like to do. There is a lot of problem-solving involved in my job. And it’s the same for my clothes,” she replies.
Visualisation is vital to Hana’s organisation system. Due to her added sensitivity to external stimulants, her clothes-wearing must be a customary routine. Unsurprisingly, this has helped her build a reliable relationship with her clothes, where all of her outfits are tried and tested over time, not swayed by trends or opinions of other people.
“There are certain classic pieces that I feel an attachment to, so those I keep and incorporate into my day-to-day. I don’t care what I look like in other’s eyes, as long as I feel confident and comfortable, I am good to go. It’s on my body, even if it may not be appropriate for others, but it’s for me. Like my cats only have one coat of fur. And they are so pretty!” She gushes.
Around the same time Hana returned to Singapore, the pandemic broke out. This was also when Hana adopted her cats.
“People always think that I saved them, but in reality, they saved me. They kept me sane during a very difficult time in my life,” Hana breathes.
Witnessing the twinkle in her eyes, her love for her cats feels big, palpable and unconditional. She refers to all the cats under her care as her “sayang”, which means “dear” in Malay.
Here, kismet or purely coincidental, all her cats came into the room. Then, in true cat fashion, they wandered out of the bedroom, unbothered by our enthusiasm to capture the moment with a photo.
Zend and Hana seated on the bed (L) and stool (R). According to her, Zend is a bit of a gangster, loves the sun, and plops on his back when relaxed. Hana wears a white shift dress with a zipper at the front, swapped from The Fashion Pulpit.
“If I move [countries] again, they are definitely coming with me,” she lets out a sigh.
Speaking of the future, I ask her if she has any hopes for her wardrobe.
“The last three years have really shaped my views and helped me understand my needs. Over time, I built my way of life around my wardrobe. I realised that I don’t need so much clothing.
“I hope my wardrobe changes along with my needs and accompanies me as I age gracefully,” Hana concludes.
I know it will.
Oishi poses with two of Hana’s favourite purses.
P/S: If you, like I, have fallen for Hana’s cats and can’t get enough of them, you can catch more cat content at @Hanaxcats on TikTok.
About The Journal of Wear
The Journal of Wear features narrative-style writing, where we capture the wearer’s unique voice and story from their perspective and ours. Instead of a simple Q & A format, we hope to craft a narrative that depicts us entering the wearer’s wardrobe/closet/bedroom space, how we got to know about the wearer’s story of their chosen item of clothing, and how each of us felt within the experience of conversing about our clothes.
The Journal of Wear is the labour of love of Esther Koh and Xingyun Shen who first bonded over how clothing can affect and shape its wearer in an intimate way. It is an extension of The Fashion Pulpit’s existing video series: SWAP STORIES. This article is written by Xingyun. All photos in this entry are captured with an iPhone.